Burt Reynolds – what do you think of when you hear his name? Do you think moustache, hairy chest, cowboy hats, black Trans-am, the '70s/early '80s when he was the apex predator of Hollywood stars, winning eight People's Choice Awards and reigning as the highest paid actor for five years in a row? Or do you think hairpiece, facelifts, bankruptcy, a squandered Boogie Nights comeback and decades of straight-to-video flicks you've never heard of?

Reynolds, who turned 76 this weekend, is around the same age as Clint Eastwood and William Shatner, who are both more popular now, in their early '80s, than they've ever been. Eastwood, a friend of Reynolds who co-starred with him in City Heat, has become one of Hollywood's greatest filmmakers and someone who has embraced his age, starring in movies about characters who must come to terms with being in their twilight years. Shatner, who sports an infamous hairpiece and has had enough plastic surgery to make him look like a giant baby, has done really well mocking himself as a sort of parody of masculinity. Reynolds has become a parody but doesn't seem to realize it.

I can't think of Burt without thinking of my dad, who used to rent his films on VHS when I was a kid. Thanks to Netflix and some of those sale rack compilation DVDs where you can snage three films for about $5, I was able to revisit a bunch of the actor's work over the past few weeks. “Why?” you ask? “Why not?” I say. Smokey and the Bandit, Smokey and the Bandit II, Stoker Ace, Shamus, Sharky's Machine, Shamus and Hooper. I'm just waiting to get my hands on the first two Cannonball Run movies. No one will accuse Reynolds of making great cinema, but he did make a lot of fun movies and he's always watchable. At least he was. That archetype of the fast-drivin', one-liner-spoutin', hard drinkin' ladies man isn't a sustainable resource for an actor after a certain age.

Reynolds became so firmly identified as that man's man that he couldn't escape... and didn't seem to want to, as apparently he hated doing Boogie Nights, didn't get along with director Paul Thomas Anderson and refused to be in the director's next film, Magnolia. So, he went from doing direct-to-video junk like Raven (check out the hilariously bad trailer) to after Boogie Nights doing junk like the Universal Soldier T.V. movie sequels.

Time is running short for another comeback but he needs one now more than ever. The actor's ongoing tax troubles made the news last August when the Merrill Lynch Credit Corporation filed a lawsuit against him for missing Over a million bucks in mortgage payments on his Florida home. The year before that he had heart bypass surgery. The year before that, 2009, his sole acting credit on the IMDb is for an uncredited appearance on the T.V. show My Name is Earl. And currently, if you go to burtreynolds.com, where his former fan page was, there's nothing.

Yet, there's still BRIFT, the Burt Reynolds Institute of Film and Television. Yes, it exists, in Jupiter, Florida. I explored the website for the place, trying to get a window in the actor's psyche. Here's what I learned about it and the actor, who the BRIFT site describes as, “Actor, Director, Emcee of the Oscars, Talk Show host and Super Star, Burt Reynolds is one of America's most famous celebrities. Friend to world leaders and Hollywood legends he has been romantically involved with some of the most beautiful and respected women of our time. ... attesting to the magnitude of the popularity Mr. Reynolds has held for half a century.” (I'm glad they got the mention of his romantic exploits in there, though it should be said that there's an impressive list of his charity work on the site too.)

As far as the actual building goes, the non-profit entity was opened in 1999 and features a museum with such items as a canoe from Deliverance; a helmet from The Longest Yard; hats from Sam Whiskey, Mystery Alaska and The Man Who Loved Cat Dancing (er, what?); and boots from Smokey and the Bandit, Striptease and The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. According to this article about the place, “The museum leaves one feeling that Reynolds has had a rather impressive career and wondering about the choice (by either the museum curator or Reynolds himself) to display multiple works (mostly oil paintings) of the actor as a half-dressed cowboy.” Of course, if you can't actually make it to the museum, you can always use its online shop to snag yourself the pictured charcoal sketch painting of Burt, shirtless in a cowboy hat. Or perhaps get yourself a postcard of him shirtless on a horse while holding a dog, or even a mousepad with him standing next to the Trans-am from Smokey and the Bandit. Start your Christmas shopping now.

Beyond that, you can also rent the place out. Along with huge photos and paintings of the star, you'll be surrounded by the following: “Glistening trophies and prestigious awards are displayed in mirrored cases that include gifts from movie stars, presidents and sport greats. Marble pedestals, granite and coquina counters and varnished mahogany columns create a magical atmosphere for your guests. The museum's lighting includes radiant chandeliers and accent lights that give the room a warm feeling.”

But here's the kicker, you can actually go there and take acting classes from Burt himself! You have to email BRIFT for details, including the fees, and if you get accepted, you'll be taught by the master himself. According to the site, “Jupiter, Fl: The Burt Reynolds Institute recently announced that its Master Acting class, taught by mega-star Burt Reynolds, has opened enrollment for the winter term.” Here's a link to the registration PDF.

At least there's one place where Burt Reynolds shall remain a “mega-star.” (What's that joke about a river in Egypt?) I really hope he can rally a late-career comeback before he's reduced to working in his own gift shop, selling cowboy hats made of his own chest hair.

-Dave Alexander

From A to Z, here's everything and much more that you need to know about The Woman in Black.

A is for Arthur Kipps

Daniel Radcliffe stars as Arthur, a forlorn lawyer in turn-of-the-century London who lost his wife in childbirth and is on the verge of losing his job if he doesn't travel to Eel Marsh House to settle the affairs of the late Alice Drablow. Upon arrival, he finds that the locals try their darndest to get rid of him, with the exception of the wealthy Daily, who doesn't believe in the local spook story despite the strange, tragic loss of his own son. Like any good ghost story protagonist, Kipps ignore the warnings and travels to the decrepit manor, which is only accesible by a road that exists during low tide. Here he starts to unravel the terrible tragedy that befell a child and resulted in a vengeful spirit intent of taking others' young offspring.

B is for Black

The archetype of a dangerous woman dressed in black is film staple, from witches to the femme fatale of film noir, to the ghost woman on the moors in The Innocents (the 1961 adaptation of the 1898 Henry James ghost novel The Turn of the Screw). Here, the woman in black is dressed in typical Victorian/Edwardian mourning clothes, and she shows herself across the boggy landscape in a way that appears to be homage to The Innocents.

C is for Ciarán Hinds

You may not recognize his name but the face is familiar from supporting roles in all kinds of movies as of late, including the last two Harry Potter films, in which he plays Aberforth Dumbledore, as well as turns in Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy and There Will Be Blood. He also played Caesar in the HBO series Rome. Here he turns in another excellent performance as Daily, a man trying his best to stay logical and rational in the face of mounting supernatural shenanigans.

D is for Dolls

Few things are as creepy as old dolls and The Woman in Black has some of the most unnerving examples you've ever seen in a film. One in particular – and if you've seen the movie, you know damn well which one I'm referring to – has very realistic eyes and teeth, and is the stuff of nightmares.

E is for Ending

The movie is based on the 1983 novel of the same name by Susan Hill. The filmmakers changed the ending of her story to make it a little less bleak but in the process a fair bit cheesy, unfortunately. If ain't broke, don't break it...

F is for Fans

I watched the film at a preview screening in Toronto with Daniel Radcliffe in attendance. The girl sitting behind me yelled out, “I love you Daniel,” to which he replied, with classic British wit “I love you too, now let's see other people.” The girl collapsed in her chair and started hyperventilating because “Daniel talked to me.” With that kind of following for its star, there's no way this movie won't make a load of money.

G is for Goldman

Jane Goldman, who penned the script for the adaptation, is known in the U.K. for her supernatural-themed T.V. show Jane Goldman Investigates. She also adapted the comic book Kick-Ass for the screen and co-wrote X-Men: First Class. The namby pamby ending aside, she's written some pretty chilling sequences for this film by tweaking the classic period ghost story formula, which you'll read more about below...

H is for Hammer

Britain's legendary Hammer Film Productions, which had its heyday in the '60s and '70s, notably with horror films starring the likes of Peter Cushing and Christopher Lee, brought The Woman in Black to the screen, after being reborn about five years ago when new owners decided to get the company back in the game. The previous two films the new version of the studio released, the thriller The Resident and the supernatural Monkey's Paw-type tale Wakewood received mixed reviews, but if The Woman in Black is any indication, the company is on the right track.

I is for Innkeepers

If you like ghost stories but not period films, Ti West's indie film The Innkeepers, about a couple of employees at an old inn determined to uncover the building's haunted past on its last weekend in business, also opens in some markets this weekend. The trailer:

J is for J-Horror

The J, of course, stands for “Japanese,” as this is the subgenre of films that originated from that country with movies such as The Ring and The Grudge, in which a pale-faced ghost woman exacts revenge on the living. Goldman has noted in interviews that she was very influenced by these films while writing the script, and it shows. In The Woman in Black the mysterious black-clad figure is much more malevolent than in the average British ghost tale, and way more hideous with her grimaced white face partially obscured by a black veil. Part of the plot sees Kipps trying to appease her and stop the killings by retrieving the corpse of her son and giving him a proper burial – something you may recall that also happens in The Ring. It's a very effective mash-up of British and Japanese types of ghosts.

K is for Keckwick

Keckwick is the shady, greedy carriage driver who agrees to take Kipps to Eel Marsh House for the right price, despite the objections of everyone else in the town. What would horror films do without these guys? Frankenstein's and Dracula's castles would've been unreachable without them.

L is for London's West End

The stage version of The Woman in Black is the second longest running play in London's West End, only outdone by Agatha Christie's Moustrap, which has been playing for 60 years continuously. Almost every school kid in London goes to see the ghost story on a field trip.

M is for Moor

One of the scariest settings in England is on the moors, as proven by the Sherlock Holmes tale The Hound of the Baskervilles, An American Werewolf in London and now The Woman in Black. Avoid 'em – nothing good ever goes down there, just carriages and people... sinking into the bog.

N is for Novel

If the film has got you interested in the novel, Susan Hill sells various signed editions of it off of her official website, including this one which comes with a set of images made from wood engravings.

O is for Old Dark House

The Old Dark House is a terms used to refer to the old, dark houses (duh) in haunted house films and other movies where a cavernous home full of gloomy shadows, creaky wood floors and hidden secrets is necessary. Also, every house in a Scooby Doo cartoon.

P is for Psychologist

To prepare for his role as widower Arthur Kipps, Daniel Radcliffe spent time with a psychologist to help get into the head of his character. So then, did he spend time with a sorcerer before starring in the Harry Potter films?

Q is for Queen Victoria

Queen Victoria ruled in Britain from June 20, 1837, 'til January 22, 1901, when she died and the Edwardian Period began. Given that automobiles are a new thing in The Woman in Black, the film seems to be set right around the time of the transition. The appearance of the car is usually significant in films, as it symbolizes a new, modern era, away from superstition. It's the ideal setting for story where the character comes from a modern city to a sleepy little town steeped in lore.

R is for Remake

The film is technically a remake, as it was made into a T.V. movie in 1989. It's out-of-print but has been posted on Youtube. The older version starred Adrian Rawlins as "Arthur Kidd," who more recently appeared in the Harry Potter movies as, get this, Harry's father James Potter. Like father, like son.

S is for Susan Hill

According to her website, the author wholeheartedly endorses the remake and is big fan of Radcliffe, especially after discovering that they both have Border Terriers from the same breeder – in case you need some really random Daniel Radcliffe dog trivia...

T is for Typecasting

The Woman in Black proves that Radcliffe is a serious actor. He's fantastic in the movie, his first after the Harry Potter series, and the one before Kill Your Darlings, in which he plays gay counter-culture poet Allen Ginsberg. Clearly, he's working hard to avoid being typecast. Good, thing, as it would be hard to play a boy wizard when he's 35.

U is for Uncomfortable

One of the best and most uncomfortable scenes in the film features a mad rich woman who treats her two tiny dogs exactly like children (spoon feeding them at the dinner table even!), as a replacement for her dead son. It's also, really, the only humorous scene in the entire film.

V is for Vengeful

What makes the actual Woman in Black so frightening is just how vengeful she is. Nothing can be set right, she can't be appeased and she punishes by killing children in a variety of horrible ways, including poisoning and fire. Just seeing her heralds tragedy.

X is for Xenophobia

Small towns and villages in horror films usually, A: have a secret, and B: a dislike of outsiders, especially from the city. The xenophobic villagers in this film are downright hostile, which of course only piques our hero's curiosity further, until the consequences are tragic. Eel Marsh House has obviously been hell on tourism.

W is for Watkins, James

James Watkins directed The Woman in Black. He also wrote the rather pointless sequel to The Descent, and wrote and directed an effectively nasty little British backwoods horror/thriller called Eden Lake. Here's the trailer.

Z is for Zombies

There are none in The Woman in Black. Just as well, as they're kinda gettin' old. More classic ghost stories, please.

Media theorist Marshall McLuhan famously coined the term “the medium is the message,” meaning that the technologies that we use to consume media themselves are instrumental in shaping the overall experience of the media. But often we choose to shape those experiences more self-consciously in other ways, customizing them into something that goes beyond what we, for example, see on the movie screen for two or so hours. It can be as simple as watching with all the lights off at home, more ambitious such as inviting your wittiest friends over to drink beer and creating your own commentary to something so-bad-it's-good, or much more involved, such as going out to the theatre dressed as a character from the film, as fans of The Rocky Horror Picture Show do. The extreme end of this would be the Alamo Drafthouse's Rolling Roadshow, which screens films at locations where they were actually shot, brings in actors from the movies, serves special meals themed to a particular screening and other things to enhance the experience of seeing a particular a film, such as when they show Jaws to an audience floating on inner tubes in a lake.

I'm not that ambitious, but I do like to plan special nights out with friends where the actual screening of a particular film is only part of a night's experience. Usually, these are guys' nights and the movie of choice is something overly masculine and often critic-proof, such as Rambo or The Expendables. This past Friday presented the latest opportunity with The Grey. Liam Neeson playing a guy who survives a plane crash in the far north and must lead a group of men to safety while being attacked by a pack of wolves the whole time it about as testosterone-y as it gets. You can actually grow chest hair just by looking at that poster of Neeson and his piercing wolf eyes, so what better excuse to round up the men for a guy's night?

Here's how it went down. I bought movie tickets ahead of time online, which was possible because the film is playing the new Ultra AVX theatres with the reclining chairs, 7.1 Surround Sound and reserved seating. You pay $16 a pop but for something like this it's worth it not to have to get there early, line up and worry about sitting together. So, about a dozen of us met up on Friday night after work and watched this manly man's movie. It didn't matter that it suffers some crippling logic flaws (the characters choose walking into the woods with few supplies over waiting by the plane, which of course has a black box homing beacon, for starters), some of the CGI wolves didn't look quite convincing, or that the ending is a bit of a bust, as the climax doesn't live up to the promise that's made in the trailer. No, it had enough action, adventure, bloodshed, fire, improvised weapons, big ass wolves, Liam Neeson one-liners and beards to fill the toughness quotient. But that was only the beginning. Afterwards we went to Barque, a hearty meat-lovers restaurant in Toronto that has ribs, smoked brisket and all kinds of other awesome food smothered in BBQ sauce. We ate copious – nay, on a normal night embarrassing – amounts of red meat, drank beer and talked about the movie and the general manly excellence of “The Neeson." (See the included pic for evidence of the carnivore bonding ritual.) After gorging ourselves on flesh like desperate predators, we ended the night at a local drinking hole called The Inter Steer, which has big bottles of Polish beer, wood panelling, a jukebox, pool table and old, sullen drunks decorating the bar stools. Ideal ambience to be sure.

With a bit of email organizing, a few phone calls and the desire get the hell out of the house at the end of January, what would've otherwise been another trip to the theatre, became a memorable event we christened “The Neesoning.” It's an easy thing to do, have a whole night out centred around the right movie, and I know groups of women do it for films such as Sex in the City. Whatever the film/gender/reason, you have to be in the right mindset, and go into thinking that actual film itself is important to establishing the right tone yet only the thematic element of a bigger event. These days it's easier than ever to stay in and watch something on a big hi-def T.V. with theatre-quality sound, but that loses an essential element of the cinematic experience as an experience. This is one way of taking that back.

For our group of guys seeing The Grey, it wasn't so much that the medium was the message – the meat was just as important. Carpe Liam, lads.

-Dave Alexander

The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences once again proved its irrelevancy with this week's Oscar Nominations. Given the hype, exposure, glitz and glamour, not to mention the fact that they've been around for 84 instalments, they're impossible to ignore. They function mainly to affirm mainstream choices and to reward those within the Hollywood industry who uphold the status quo. Work that's rebellious, challenging or made by outsiders generally isn't given a fair chance, especially when it comes to Best Picture, which was proven via this week's announced list of ten nominees, which didn't include Drive, the film that's superior to most, if not all, the ones that made the list.

From a technical, artistic and dramatic standpoint, it's a powerhouse of a cinematic achievement, yet somehow it was beat out by the cloying, sentimental Tom Hanks/Sandra Bullock 9/11 drama Incredibly Loud & Extremely Close, which is currently at a pretty weak 48% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes (making it officially “Rotten”). Drive, in comparison, is at 93%. Figure that one out.

Given past AMPAS embarrassing choices, this is no big surprise. Among the groundbreaking classics that were never even nominated for Best Picture: King Kong, The Searchers (winner that year: Around the World in Eighty Days), 2001: A Space Odyssey (winner that year: Oliver!) Easy Rider, Do the Right Thing (winner that year: Driving Miss Daisy), Boogie Nights and Psycho.

On the flip-side, sometimes the Academy does get it right and films that truly deserve to win Best Picture take home the prize. Some of the best examples: Casablanca, The French Connection, The Godfather, The Godfather II, The Deer Hunter, The Silence of the Lambs, The Unforgiven and The Hurt Locker.

But we're here to be critical, so below are the five worst Best Picture winners of the past 25 years that exemplify how the award is a joke.

Forest Gump (1995)

This Best Picture winner by the very mainstream Robert Zemeckis is as stupid as its main character. Gimmicky, cheesy and downright irritating, it still beat out the brilliantly game-changing Pulp Fiction. Tarantino's film is a hyper-violent, foul-mouthed, celebration of guns, drugs, murder, gangsters and pop-culture that probably the offended a chunk of the voters, who went Gump over gimp on this one.

Braveheart (1996)

The next year, Mel Gibson's overblown, overlong try-hard historical epic took the prize, leaving better films in its wake, including Il Postino. That year's winner really should've been Leaving Las Vegas, though, which wasn't even nominated. Perhaps Gibson's pariah status for being a xenophobic, abusive addict who co-starred in that movie with a beaver puppet is the universe righting itself.

Gladiator (2001)

Ridley Scott has proven himself an excellent filmmaker with pictures such as Alien, Blade Runner and Black Hawk Down, but this one is pure Hollywood mediocrity. A nice looking historical action-drama with a cringe-inducing hyperbolic ending, it won over the superior Traffic, Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the not-even-nominated Sexy Best. It should've fell upon its own sword instead.

A Beautiful Mind (2002)

The year after Gladiator, a true Hollywood hack took Best Picture. Ron Howard is a true Academy Golden Boy who make super-populist films with about as much edge as a lump of oatmeal. This particular paint-by-numbers (even the poster is mind-bumbingly boring), shameless Oscar grab can't hold a candle to any of the other nominees for Best Picture that year, particularly Robert Altman's mature and studied Gosford Park and Peter Jackson's beautifully crafted epic The Lord of the Rings: the Fellowship of the Rings. Fact: every time Ron Howard makes a movie an angel dies.

Crash (2006)

So manipulative and calculating in the way it played the voters' heartstrings all the way to Best Picture, this is the kind of movie the Academy loves, an “important” message film that's so obvious it calls for an aspirin after watching, just to counteract the pain of being hit over the head for two-and-a-half hours. Ang Lee's Brokeback Mountain was the obvious choice that year, but a simplistic piece about racism trumped a challenging, layered narrative about homosexuality. Weighty but safe seems to be the mindset, along with major studio over independent.

Hollywood... it's the kind of place where Ryan Gosling, a fast car and a team of very talented filmmakers still can't outpace Hanks, Bullock and crass sentimentality. Bleh.

-Dave Alexander

The line between manly and gay is anything but, er, straight when it comes to tough guy movies. Anytime you get sweaty, muscular guys shoving, punching, wrestling or generally grabbing at each other in the absence of women, oftentimes while holding phallic weaponry, someone's gonna call homoerotic on it.

I like a lot of “dumb” guy action flicks, which includes pretty much anything starring Stallone or Schwarzeneggar, and not only have female friends taken much delight in pointing out how hetero-straining the flicks are (the camera often lingering on the gleaming muscles of the hero), so have a lot of people on the internet.

Let's investigate the correlation between homoeroticism and action movies further through a comparison. Below are twelve sets of names. One of them is the name of a character played by Steven Seagal in a movie, while the other is the name of a gay porn star. See how many you can guess correctly.

Answers are at the bottom.

1.

A) Tom Steele

B) Wolf Hudson

2.

A) Simon Ballister

B) Logan McCree

3.

A) Clay Maverick

B) Jonathan Cold

4.

A) Casey Ryback

B) Mason Wyler

5.

A) Blade Thompson

B) Matt Conlin

6.

A) Tyler Saint

B) Austin Travis

7.

A) Colton Ford

B) Harland Banks

8.

A) Ray Dragon

B) Mason Storm

9.

A) John Sands

B) Tyson Cane

10.

A) Orin Boyd

B) Tober Brandt

11.

A) Hal Rockland

B) Frank Glass

12.

A) Gino Felino

B) Antoine Mallet

Steven Seagal Characters:

1(A), 2(A), 3(B), 4(A), 5(B), 6(B), 7(B), 8(B), 9(A), 10(A), 11(B), 12(A)

If you got most of the answers right, you clearly watch a lot of Seagal movies, a lot of gay porn, or both. Regardless, some of the most masculine made up names out there seem like they could easily swing both ways.

-Dave Alexander

Given his small, portly stature, huge glasses and Eraserhead-like hair, it was easy to forget that Kim Jong-il was truly evil man. After being mocked endlessly in Team America – where the marionette version of him sings a song about being “whonely” – the image of the North Korean dictator was more angst-ridden teddy bear than iron-fisted tyrant, at least in North America. The 2009 documentary Kimjongilia, which takes its title from a strain of begonia created for the former leader in honour of his 46^th birthday – is a reminder that life for the average person in North Korea can be brutal.

As the most repressive, closed off and militarized nation in the world, the country continues to fascinate, even more so since Kim Jong's death last month. The world is waiting to see what will happen with the succession of his 27- (or possible 28 or older – no one really knows his exact birthday) year-old son, Kim Jung-un, who shares many of the cartoonish features of his father and is rumoured to be less of a tyrant. Will he make changes, will he be ousted, or will it be business as usual?

To better understand the situation under which he's assuming power, Kimjongilia is an intimate snapshot of a life under the regime, as told by those who have escaped. That several of the subjects in N.C Heiken's film refuse to be fully shown on camera, makes it pretty clear that they aren't kidding about still fearing greatly for their safety and the lives of the family they left behind.

Kimjongili gives us the basic timeline of how North Korea came to be a communist state after defeating their Japanese colonizers, giving rise to the ascension of Kim Jong's father, Kim Sung-il, and his death in 1994, which ushered in the era of Kim Jong. With much of the economy dedicated to supporting the military and the elite, North Korea relies heavily on prison camp labour, thus any offence can get one's entire family thrown in prison, including being reported for criticizing the government. More serious offences, including trying to escape the country, result in public execution. We also learn that the regime has a “three-generations policy” which means anyone who's found guilty of an offence has three generation of his or her family punished. It's also standard to be executed in front of family members, including children.

One woman interviewed saw her parents starve to death in a camp, her husband taken away (to this day she doesn't know what happened to him), and her children either given up for adoption, killed or tortured to the point of becoming severely handicapped.

A prison camp escapee who was born in a camp, describes the relentless hard labour in coal mines, factories and fields, the rampant starvation and how he finally fled into China through an electric fence that killed the man he escaped with.

A former military officer (pictured) travelled by ocean into South Korea, dodging North Korean warships, which he notes probably didn't have any fuel to give chase. He describes how the soldiers routinely starved, particularly after the famine and floods of the mid-'90s, which then caused a huge problem of tens of thousands of rotting corpses that couldn't be disposed of quickly enough.

The suffering in North Korea is horrific, and we get glimpses of it here in still photos of starving children and satellite images of the scores of prison camps through out the country. Heiken's film, which is barely over an hour, gives us glimpse into this world, but also a bunch of filler in the form of some rather schlocky interpretive dance sequences and cloying music meant to add weight. It's unnecessary, as the stories can stand on their own.

It would've been much more effective to juxtapose the suffering of the everyday people with the excesses of Kim Jong's government. A few examples: the dictator had South Korean filmmaker Shin Sang-ok kidnapped in order to make films for the government, including Pulgasari, a giant monster movie meant to compete with the Godzilla franchise; according to this jaw-dropping article written by his former personal chef who escaped, the leader had one of the largest alcohol collections in the world and would spare no expense to get lavish ingredients for dishes; he maintained a fake propaganda city; and, wel..., that's only a fraction of the bizarre excesses. It's these absurd things that paint the full picture, but Kimjongilia gives us modern dance instead.

Given the recent death of the great leader – who was depicted in the state-run media as essentially a superhero who didn't defecate, was born under a double rainbow and could control the weather(!) – I was particularly interested to hear what the escapees predicted for the country after his death. One predicted chaos, while other expected a huge change that would allow them to return safely to their homeland. So far, it seems on the surface to be business as usual there as Kim Jung is being given his official leadership appointments, but it's hard to believe that the government could continue to have such as grip under the circumstances outlined in the film.

One survivor of North Korea describes its citizens as “bound by wires, like plants.” For a man whose image was as carefully cultivated as the flower that bears his name, appearance was everything for Kim Jong. Kimjongilia (available on Netflix and DVD), despite its flaws, shows the suffering that men like him foster. May he rest in hell.

-Dave Alexander

It's probable that there are more 2011 Year End lists online than there are films that were released last year, yet I feel like some sort of capper on the past twelve months is in order. So, I've put together my survey of 2011 in film that will include a few obvious categories, but mostly (I hope) look at the year from a slightly different angle that avoids the same content you can find on hundreds of other lists, and maybe give you a few laughs and few titles to track down that slipped off your radar. Feel free to express agreement, derision, outrage or suggest your own in the comment section below.

JUST GO SEE IT ALREADY

Drive

(Hands down the best direction, performances, cinematography and score)

BIG BUDGET HOLLYWOOD AT ITS BEST

Super-8

(Hitting most of the same notes of those classic Spielberg movies of the '80s)

BIG BUDGET HOLLYWOOD AT ITS WORST

Cowboys & Aliens

(Clunky, disjointed and downright stupid filmmaking by committee)

MOST UNDERRATED

Harold and Kumar Save Christmas

(Unapologetical, crass, random and totally hilarious if seen not sober – the egging scene alone is worth the price of admission)

MOST OVERRATED

Mission: Impossible Ghost Protocol

(Why is this more-of-the-same movie with unintentionally laughable scene such as Tom Cruise's hand-sketched mug shot and robo-gloves 94% fresh on Rotten Tomatoes?)

FIVE AWESOME UNDER-THE-RADAR FILMS YOU NEED TO TRACK DOWN ON DVD/BLU-RAY

Attack the Block

Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale

Red State

Super

Trollhunter

FIVE FILMS I RATHER PUT IN A BLENDER AND EAT THAN HAVE TO ACTUALLY WATCH

Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked

Green Lantern

Real Steel

Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn: Part 1

MOST WELCOME COMEBACK

Tie:

The Muppets, in The Muppets

(A hilarious Muppet movie for grown-up Muppet lovers)

and

Rutger Hauer as the title character in Hobo With a Shotgun

(His first starring role in years, as an armed 'n' homeless bad ass with a heart of gold, was priceless)

LEAST EXPECTED RETURN

Johnny English in Johnny English Reborn

(Apparently these films do well overseas... but why?)

HAT TRICK

Ryan Gosling for Drive, Ides of March and Crazy, Stupid, Love

(This Canuck knows how to pick 'em)

THREE TIMES THE HARM

Olivia Wilde for In Time, The Change-Up and Cowboys & Aliens)

(Apparently she's trying to end her movie career before it starts)

MOST ORIGINAL CONCEPT

Cave of Forgotten Dreams (released in 2010, played in Canada in 2011)

(Werner Herzog's uses 3-D to show us stalactites, stalagmites and ancient cave paintings, and the result is jaw-dropping)

BEST REVAMP OF A CLASSIC

Rise of the Planet of the Apes

(A compelling story, great pacing and excellent computer animation for the win)

WORST REVAMP OF A CLASSIC

The Smurfs

(So obnoxiously crass that you'll root for Gargamel)

BEST FILM MADE BY A CANADIAN FEATURING PETER STORMARE

Small Town Murder Songs

(Ed Gass-Donnelly's subtle, Cohen Bros.-like murders mystery features a simmering performance from Stormare and some great tunes from The Bruce Peninsula)

WORST FILM MADE BY A CANADIAN FEATURING PETER STORMARE

Dylan Dog: Dead of Night

(Director Kevin Munroe was hopefully just a victim of studio meddling in this inept comic book adaptation featuring Stormare as the head of a werewolf clan)

BEST SEQUEL

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

(The epic ending to an epic franchise did not disappoint)

WORST SEQUEL

Hangover II

(If you had deja vu watching this, it's because it's neary the same damn story as the first one)

MORE, PLEASE

Kristen Wiig for writing and starring in Bridesmaids

(Now check out her out on Saturday Night Live for more of the funniest woman currently working in show biz)

JUST GO AWAY

Adam Sandler for Jack and Jill

(This is the kind of career decision making someone with a bad drug habit would make)

BEST TRAILER

The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo (teaser)

(No surprise here; the music video punch of this one could get anyone excited about the film)

WORST TRAILER

The Double

(It gives away the big twist in this Richard Gere/Martin Sheen thriller, thereby eliminating the need to watch it)

GOOD TRAILER, BAD MOVIE

Battle: Los Angeles

(Promised us an epic, moving invasion film but gave us a video game-style ad for the American military)

BAD TRAILER, GOOD MOVIE

Red State

(The film changes tone and genres several times to great effect, but the trailer makes it seem like a mediocre cable movie)

A POSTER THAT REALLY HELPED SELL THE FILM

The Muppets

(It's colourful, it's fun, it's got all your favourite characters; this one makes you want to start the music and light the lights)

A POSTER THAT DID NOTHING TO HELP SELL THE FILM

J. Edgar

(There's nothing like being promised a moviegoing experience in which your dad is going to yell at you for two hours)

BEST FILMMAKER EVENT (THAT I ATTENDED)

In Conversation With... Guillermo del Toro at the Lightbox Theatre in Toronto

(The guy is so smart, funny, passionate and full of stories about the film industry, you could listen to him talk all night and never get bored)

WORST FILMMAKER EVENT (THAT I ATTENDED)

The Toronto International Film Festival screening of Twixt with director Francis Ford Coppola and star Val Kilmer in attendance.

(It was both awkward and a little heartbreaking to see the director of some of the greatest American films be so enthusiastic about his amateur, confusing piece of crap vampire/serial killer/murder mystery teen comedy-fairy tale)

MOVIE THAT YOU HAD TO SEE IN THEATRES

Tie:

Tree of Life / Cave of Forgotten Dreams

(Both of these movies need a big screen, with the former also needing big sound and the latter needing 3-D, to work properly as larger-than-life cinematic experiences)

BEST MOVIEGOER NEWS

The Alamo Drafthouse takes a stand on people who text during movies, with this PSA featuring an angry voicemail left by some imbecile who was thrown out of the theatre.

WORST MOVIEGOER NEWS

Some crackpot in Michigan decides to sue the makers of Drive being because the film's trailer is misleading and the film is “anti Semitic” – no, for real!

(Uh... WHAT?!?)

-Dave Alexander

Sometimes the new year sneaks up on you, and sometimes it jumps out from around a corner and thrusts a sword at your neck – especially if you spend January 1 watching ninja movies. That's what I did, and I'm pretty sure the world's a better place because of it. How could it not be with a double feature of Enter the Ninja and Ghost Warrior? Bring on the Shadow Warriors!

If you were a boy growing up in the '80s, your life was greatly influenced by ninjas. They were everywhere. Both The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and G.I. Joe characters Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes were on T.V, in comic books and in toy stores; you could play Ninja Gaiden, Shinobi or Streetfighter at the arcade (or on your Nintendo, eventually); Kawasaki was selling Ninja motorbikes; and, of course, there were scores of ninja movies at the local video store.

While ninjas haven't gone away entirely (ask anyone who plays Fruit Ninja on a smart phone), those pyjama-wearing warriors reigned supreme in the VHS era. Having been a video store card-carying kid in the '80s and early '90s, I was spinning like a shurukin when I saw a couple of ninja-y '80s titles recently on DVD for the first time as part of MGM's manufacture-on-demand (a.k.a. MOD) collection. (That means they're not available in retail stores, but can be ordered as no-frills DVDs on amazon.com, here and here, but not from amazon.ca, sadly.)

First up, Enter the Ninja, a Cannon film starring Franco Nero (Django), Susan George (Straw Dogs, Dirty Mary Crazy Larry) and Shô Kosugi (the real life karate master who starred in a whack of '80s ninja flicks). This one was a staple of video store shelves back in the day and one of those movies produced for the North American market which found a way to have a white guy be the ultimate ninja warrior.

Here, a heavily mustachioed Nero plays Vietnam vet Cole, who finished his ninja training in Japan (actually Manilla standing in) by fighting a bunch of red ninjas, defeating a black ninja (Kosugi) and “beheading” his master (not really, it's a prop head – sneaky teacher!). He then visits an old war buddy, who has a drinking problem, as well as a sexy wife named Mary-Ann (George) and a conflict with a businessman named Charles Venarius (Christopher George), who's trying to run him off his oil-rich land by any means necessary.

And by “any means,” I mean hiring thugs, lots and lots of thugs. Luckily, Cole uses his ninjitsu skills to off dozens of 'em, plus some who aren't even thugs, but just security guys just doing their jobs. Eventually, Venarius ups the ante by hiring the black ninja, who already has a hate-on for Cole because he's not Japanese. Things play out pretty much exactly as you expect them to, with a final showdown between the ninjas, in a fighting ring, as a kidnapped Mary-Ann looks on.

Enter the Ninja may not be the filmic masterpiece and blueprint for my adulthood that I thought it was when I was nine, but that doesn't mean it's not entertaining. Being a Cannon film, it's gleefully crammed full of goofy sexism, entertainingly two-dimensional characters, wanton violence and an unapologetic disregard for human life. Nero struts around like the Italian Tom Selleck, his character kicking Mary-Ann to the ground the first time they meet, then bedding her a couple days later (it's cool, he got his buddy's drunken permission first). In addition, the henchmen are hilarious '80s cliches, and Chris George gives his character the greatest death face ever recorded on film (you need to see it here).

Or... you can simply read the synopsis on the back, which features a shot of Nero looking like he's crapped himself, and the following sentence fragment as a synopsis: “The absorbing martial arts film that exposes Ninjitsu, the lethal, little-known 'Art of Invisibility'...which includes the use of hypnotism, explosives and super-human fighting skills.”

(Note: there is absolutely no hypnotism in the movie whatsoever!)

The film was helmed by Menahem Golan, who also directed The Delta Force, starring Chuck Norris and Lee Marvin, and the Sylvester Stallone arm wrestling, um, epic Over the Top. Half of the famous Golan Globus production team who bought Cannon in 1979 (read more about it here), Golan was behind a staggering number of action films that shaped the '80s. Aside from making numerous ninja films (including the American Ninja series), they made the Death Wish sequels, a bunch of Chuck Norris flicks, and launched Jean-Claude Van Damme's career. There is simply no one better to deliver a schlocky action film about ninjas.

Of course, in the schlock department, you've also got notorious C-grade movie producer/director Charles Band, who was behind the other half of my double feature, producing and taking an “original idea” credit. Perhaps it should be no surprise then, that despite the silhouette of a sword-wielding, throwing star-clutching, pyjama-clad figure on the cover, Ghost Warrior isn't a ninja film. There are no throwing stars in the movie, as it's about an ancient samurai warrior who's found frozen in a cave, is brought to the U.S. and revived, only to escape and run afoul of violent gangs, the scientists trying to recapture and kill him, and the cops. He's aided by a female scientist, played by Janet Julian (best known for playing Nancy Drew in the '70 TV show), who's only one of the people not particularly surprised that you can revive a human frozen for 500 years.

There's a little bit of sweet sword action here, butoverall it's a pretty boring film with such amusing budgetary deficiencies as a hospital room that's clearly just a room in someone's house (hence the carpeted floor!). Ghost Warrior could've taken a few lessons from Cannon when it came to entertaining an audience. Never promise a ninja movie unless you've got the nunchukas, smoke bombs and throwing stars to back it up. Man simply cannot live on Japanese swords alone, after all.

 Have a great 2012, and watch out for blowdarts.

-Dave Alexander

As cockle-warming as it is to watch classic Christmas movies such as It's a Wonderful Life, A Christmas Story or Die Hard 2, it's always nice to have new holiday films to watch. Thing is, most Christmas movies are awful – calculating, overly sentimental, shallow Hollywood pap. That's why I was ecstatic to discover Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale this year. Finnish brothers Jalmari and Juuso Helander made this holiday horror feature, based on two short films that they wrote/directed in 2003 and 2005.

The concept: Santa Claus is actually a gigantic demon-monster buried deep in the mountains of rural Finland. When a scientific team begins to unearth the horned behemoth from its burial mound, it releases its minions – super-creepy naked old men with long white beards – to kidnap children and generally wreak havoc. At the centre of the action is a boy who lives with his father, a reindeer hunter, in a small village near the dig. When the local men find a herd of reindeer slaughtered, the boy uncovers a disturbing story about Santa Claus in an old book, a bunch of his friends go missing and a very strange old man is caught in an animal trap by his father, the boy must put on his hockey helmet, round up the locals and save Christmas from a supernatural evil. If he can convince everyone what's really going on, that is...

One of the most original holiday films ever made, Rare Exports takes the adventurous, kid-focused tone of a Steven Spielberg flick, darkens it and applies it to a very specific place and culture we don't often see in the movies, making for something weird and wonderful that's audaciously entertaining. It also does away with that saccharine sentiment of the average Christmas movie and focuses and delivering a helluva good time. Oh, yeah and it has plenty of full-frontal old man nudity, because what's funnier than a horde of skinny old men with dirty beards running through the snow with their jingle bells jangling about?

Just released on DVD and Blu-ray by Oscilloscope Laboratories, in a gorgeous cardboard package, Rare Exports includes making-of featurettes on the concept art and special effects, behind the scenes photos and the aforementioned short films (which you can also see on YouTube, here and here). Or you can purchase it online to watch as a digital download, etc., etc. Just get your hands on this one for a Christmas movie experience you'll never forget. As the trailer says, “Forget everything you know about Santa. It's all lies.”

-Dave Alexander

He's created monsters, killed dozens of people and made a teenaged girl pregnant during his 23 years in the business. Makeup effects artist Toby Lindala, the man behind B.C.-based Lindala Schminken fx inc., has a resume that includes creating the famous Flukeman for The X-Files (in the episode titled “The Host”), some of the gnarliest gore effects in the Final Destination series and the pregnancy apparatus that Ellen Page wore in Juno. His six-person, 4000 square-foot studio outside of Vancouver also has credits on Supernatural, X-Men 2, Fantastic Four, Slither and The Butterfly Effect. While he was in Toronto recently to promote the DVD/Blu-ray release of Final Destination 5, and show off some of his work (including a head prop with a massive wound in it from the latest FD movie, pictured below), he sat down to chat and give me a window into one of the most fun and creative careers in the film industry. This is what he had to say.

How did you develop a love for movie effects?

“When I was really young, I was intrigued by a lot of the Hammer films, and the Universal films like Frankenstein, The Wolf Man, even the ones with Abbot and Costello – I just loved monsters. I was really sensitive to it, really affected by [those movies], and that made me more curious. I wanted to know how those things were done, and how you could affect people like that, so I got on the other side of it.”

Your first credit on the IMDb is Xtro 2, the creature feature starring Jan Michael Vincent. What do recall from your intro into the film world?

“I was so excited to be on that show. I came in essentially as a volunteer for a couple weeks for a small pittance. That's all they could afford, but I really wanted to stay on, so I volunteered for the remainder of the shoot. It was pretty insane, pretty guerrilla-style. We were working with urethane foam without a lot of knowledge of the toxic nature of it. We made this behemoth of a creature that was suspended from the rafters on these pulleys. Really big challenges, really big wishes, not a lot of planning.”

Tell me about an effect you created that you're particularly proud of.

“I was very lucky to get hooked up with the X-Files when I was 22 – I worked on the pilot. ... Flukeman was huge for me, and that was really neat because it was a let's-make-a-monster episode. We got to see a lot of [the creature], there was a lot of it, and it had a neat backstory. I really had a chance to run with that one.”

Generally, what's the first step when you're approached to do an effect?

“Yes, it generally starts with a few script pages and, hopefully, a discussion with the producer or director. But quite often we'll just jump right into illustrations. It's more and more digital these days – Photoshops and composites.”

How has the use of digital effects changed the industry for you?

“It's really come a long way, where we're working closer and closer together [with the computer effects artists], and it's nice. We're getting a better understanding, I think. I've been on shows in the last few years where I've got a better idea of what the visual effects team is capable of, and they've got a better understanding of what's possible from us. I see it really working both ways. It's funny, it seems like more often in the early stages of a production, I'm thinking, 'This would be really cool if we could do this, and the visual effects guys can do this part of it!' And the visual effects guys are going, 'Wouldn't it be cool if we could do this and the makeup effects guy could do this part of it!'

Was it always that easy to work together?

At first, it seemed like it was really part of an ego battle and I felt like we were losing a lot of really good opportunities for makeup effects. But now we've grown into a place where the overall possibilities are that much cooler. I think science fiction and horror have moved leaps and bounds because of that collaboration, and become more popular because the images are getting stronger, crazier and that much more wonderful.”

What's your best example of practical and digital effects successfully collaborating on one of the films you worked on?

“I really like when the illusion works. There was a wonderful moment in Final Destination 3 where this girl falls back on a nail gun and gets these nails spiking through her head and basically stapling her head to her hand – and that's what takes her out, obviously. We did a duplicate of the actress in silicone, as a puppet – a mechanical jaw, a mechanical neck – and then on rods with these little pneumatic pistons that had the ends of them tooled into the nail heads, so they'd actually come through the silicone face and hand, and they were rigged with fake blood. I love to take something like that and incorporate some really solid artistry to make it look absolutely believable that it was her. The director of photography was concerned that it was going to look like a dummy head, but he was really blown away by it and ended up getting this super screaming close shot. The detail was perfect down to the skin texture. And if he bought it, then the audience would buy it. Getting back to what we talked about before, the digital effects came in and added a blink, just to give it that little final touch, which made for a great moment.”

You also worked on a couple Steven Seagal movies. What was he like?

“I feel for the directors that work with him because we would block these sequences and Steven would come in, after it was already worked out with body doubles, and say, 'No, it's going to be like this!' and run through the scene in a completely different way, and everyone has to adjust in the moment. But then you see him do it and you appreciate how long this guy has been doing this stuff and really good at it he is. He'd be flipping knives around and doing this graceful little ballet; he was consistent with it and it was pretty awesome to watch him in action. Getting there was a little painful, but once there, it was really cool.”

What's one important thing that aspiring makeup effects artists need to know?

“The schools out there are wonderful, and great for anyone who wants to get into the craft, but the first thing I tell people is, go destroy your bedroom, go wreck your kitchen, do some of this stuff at home. You really have to just want to do it, and do it. The hours are gruelling and the demands are crazy – unless you're doing it for the love of it, it's not a job you just want to walk into.”

-Dave Alexander