Smurf Cats and Other Movie Miscellany

Before I get to the big 2009 best/worst picks, it’s probably important that you know what films have the most use of the F-word, read some cool news about Michael Jackson’s Thriller and discover some other random cinematic things.

 

1. Smurf Cats (a.k.a. Avatar)

I saw the film for the second time last night and it cemented my opinion of it. Which is: technologically and visually (aside from the silly aliens that look like Smurf-cats), it’s absolutely astounding and needs to be seen in 3D on a big-ass screen to fully appreciate its mind-blowing, groundbreaking look, but… the script is pretty bad. Avatar is rife with clichés and cringe-worthy dialogue (“You are not in Kansas anymore. You are on Pandora, ladies and gentleman.” – yeesh!).

Upon first viewing, I was too dazzled by the eye candy to really notice the script shortcomings, but they sure stuck out the second time. A few of the worst offenses include the cheesy noble savage cliché, which is made worse by James’ Horner’s didactic pan flute-ified score; the portrayal of the Navi as great and stealthy warriors, but then have them stupidly charge their horse-thingies into a line of machine guns and heavily armed mech-suits (and, come to think of it, why did the army even deploy troops and mech suits on the ground in the first place?!?); and the fact that the hard-to-get mineral that the humans are fighting for is called, hilariously, “unobtanium.” Terrible, James Cameron, simply terrible. You shouldn’t be allowed to write your own scripts.

I’m not the only one that feels the storytelling falls short; Rob Beschizza over at Boingboing, asks What storytelling risks could Avatar have taken?

 

2. I stumbled across this Wikipedia page that lists the films that use the F-word the most. The number one, with a whopping 824 instances, is so obvious, you won’t guess it. (FYI, The Big Lebowski has 260 uses of the word, but didn’t make it into the top twenty. Surprising, I know.)

 

3. Speaking of The Big Lebowski, the New York Times has an article on a new collection of Lebowski-themed academic essays, called The Year’s Work in Lebowski Studies. If you can make  time between bowling, driving around and having the occasional acid flashback, you might wanna explore some acadudeia. [Thanks, Alex, for sending the link.]

 

4. Today, the library of congress announced the annual list of “25 motion pictures that will be preserved as cultural, artistic and/or historical treasures for generations to come.” Included is The Incredible Shrinking Man, Dog Day Afternoon, The Muppet Movie and John Landis’ music video for Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” All very worthy additions. See the full list here.

 

5. Lastly, someone was good enough to make a clever YouTube compilation of scenes from movies and TV shows where image enhancement is used to uncover a vital piece of visual information. By no means does it cover all the films that use this cliché, but it’s still awesome. And for the record, that’s just one more of the clichés you’ll find in James Cameron’s Smurf Cats. Let’s enhance!

 

On that note, may you all have a fantastic, white Russian-filled New Year’s.

 

-Dave Alexander

Comments

Dude Avatar is a beautiful movie. Get off your high horse.

The writer of this article is a moron.
Avatar was amazing.

"the portrayal of the Navi as great and stealthy warriors, but then have them stupidly charge their horse-thingies into a line of machine guns and heavily armed mech-suits"

Were you paying attention at all?! MY GOODNESS, you'd have to be completely incompetent to miss it-- The Navis are all about fighting with HONOR. They see honor as dying for your people. They think humans do not fight with honor because they hide behind machinery and their own troops.

Fail article.

Avatar's probably the best movie I've seen in a long time.
It was brilliant.
The story telling was fantastic-- the main characters all had much developement, and strong traits that made them stand out.
Not to mention, Sam Worthington is amazing, and the 3D made me feel like I was right beside him the whole time.

Avatar was mind-blowing.

I agree with cynic.
Get off your high horse.
You sound like you're trying to be superior in this article, and it almost feels as though you think you're better than everyone else.

Though I respect your opinion, you need to pay better attention to the movies you watch.

Ya. What they said. You suck! JCameron roolz!

Dearest nerds,

You are as entitled to your opinion as he is entitled to his. Get off YOUR offended horses and be respectful.

Seen the Disney Pacahontas lately? Everything in the story is extremely similar. There's even the wisdom tree!

The visuals are amazing, incomparable, but it takes more to make a movie than pretty colors.

Maybe you should've been paying more attention.

Ok.......so the dialogue sucked at times. The American military dialogue was John Wayne Green Beret style.....intended to be that way!!! Yeah.......who the hell are you? You don't make movies do you? This was one of the most astounding visually magnificant films ever made......so I agree, with the others. Get off your horse "thingy" DAVE!!!