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June 01, 2009

Blockbusted Part One: The Business of Art

Nelson 2

Blockbuster, the world’s largest movie rental chain has been in the news lately because it’s apparently on the verge of bankruptcy, and whenever I read about it, I hear in my head Nelson the Bully from The Simpsons, shouting “Haa-haa!” Of course it’s no laughing matter for the thousands of people who make a living through the company, but there is a sense of satisfaction for anyone who hates seeing film treated like fast food.

If you ever walked into one of the stores and wondered where the by-director section or the foreign film section was located; if you hate the idea of exclusivity deals where only one company has the right to rent a certain movie; if you ever had a clerk tell you he or she couldn’t find a movie called “Criterion” shortly before trying to sell you some candy; if you ever gazed at an entire wall of pan-and-scan Harrison Ford movies and understood that there was no god, then you know what other film geeks know: when it comes to film culture, Blockbuster sucks.

That doesn’t mean the people working there suck, of course. You can’t blame someone for not being a film expert but wanting a job – and some of them are genuine celluloid-sniffing film geeks too, but not everyone can work at the cool indie rental house (Blockbuster put most of them out of business!). Despite this, there are still good reasons to go to Blockbuster. I live about 100 metres from one, and while I don’t have a membership there, I do go in to troll the previously viewed sell-off bin. (Yesterday I scored a copy of Rocky Balboa for less than $4.00 – win!)

I also had the displeasure of working at Blockbuster, years ago in Edmonton. (Mercifully, the job lasted only a few months and then I got hired at an awesome indie store with a huge selection, knowledgeable employees and a genuine, to-the-bone love of film.) In retrospect, my stint at the ‘buster was completely hilarious in the way working at that level for any corporate gargantuan is bound to be. Upon being hired, I had to sign and initial this massive twenty-plus page contract, that, as I recall, had such stipulations as anything that I invented while working there was the company’s property (this is a standard type of clause, so that if you came up with a better filing system, for example, they would own it), and one that stated that I wasn’t allowed to work at another video store within a certain radius of that store, for a certain time period.

Blockbuster Then there was the uniform. You’d think a company like Blockbuster might provide its employees with uniforms, but no, they were too cheap. Instead, the manger told me to go to The Bay and choose from a certain type of khaki pants and a collared blue shirt. You needed two of each, you had to pay for them yourself and you’d never get reimbursed for them. So you get to spend your first few shifts just paying for your work clothes. Before long it was made clear that my most important function was to up-sell combos of Coke and microwave popcorn – that actually knowing about film was considered kind of a useful secondary feature. I think what irritated me the most, however, was the “family-friendly” nature of the place. Yeah, I get it, that’s where the money is, so why bother bringing in films that are only of interest to the non-family friendly market and rent censored versions of them? I recall recommending Dead Alive to someone who really liked The Evil Dead. I told them, “This New Zealand director, Peter Jackson, made this over-the-top splatter comedy that will blow your mind. He rented it and returned it frustrated and angry because he couldn’t understand the plot and there wasn’t much gore in it. Turns out, it was a heavily edited version that makes almost no sense because nearly a fifth of the original film is hacked away. I felt like a total jackass for recommending it. That’s when I knew I wouldn’t last...

At least I wasn’t there long enough to join the ranks of the don’t-give-a-craps, though. I remember one of the managers looked at me one day and said, “You know what the best part of this job is?”

“What?” I answered, expecting something philosophical, or least perhaps a decent job perk I hadn’t yet been privy too.

“This!” he answered before picking up the phone receiver beside his computer and rubbing the earpiece on the screen. “See, the magnet inside makes the screen all swirly!”

He was right, it did make the screen go all swirly, and, yes, it was pretty cool. And that is my fondest Blockbuster memory.

I know that not all Blockbusters are run the same, and that things have probably changed since I was an employee, but that’s my personal soul-souring experience with the company, and one of several reasons I won’t be crying into my DVD remote if the retailer can’t pay its own late fees.

 

Next installment: Blockbusted Part 2: The Fall and Rise of the Little Guys?

 

[Blockbuster photo taken by Matt]

-Dave Alexander

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About the Authors

Dave AlexanderDave Alexander

Dave Alexander is the Editor in Chief of Toronto-based Rue Morgue magazine, which specializes in “horror in culture and entertainment.” Originally from Edmonton, he holds a degree in Film and Media Studies from the University of Alberta, has made award-winning short films, worked as freelance writer for publications such as Spin and Maxim and currently programs a monthly movie night at T.O.’s Bloor Cinema. If you don’t love The Big Lebowski, he doesn’t want to be your friend.